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Here's my rendition of how Hoban "Wash" Washburne joined the crew of SERENITY. |
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THE PRESENT "Oh, yeah. This is all very do-able.”, Hoban Washburne said. He slid out from underneath the console, brushed some dust from his moustache and stood up. ”Shouldn't be a problem at all. A few modifications get some real maneuverability out of this boat. You'd be surprised.”. The captain of Serenity, Malcolm Reynolds looked a bit surprised, but tried to hold it in. “So you'll take the job, then? “, he asked. “Wash” sat down hard in the pilots chair. He grabbed the arms of the seat and shook them, trying to get a feel for it. “Might do, might do. Think I'm startin' to get a feel here.” Mal reacted with some of that surprise he was trying to hide. “Good. Well, take all the time you need. Make yourself at home. Fiddle with them dials. We'll be nearby.”. That he did. In fact Wash lost site of the fact that Mal and his second in command, Zoe, even left. He lost himself in the moment. Trying to imagine what it would be like flying this ship, this FIREFLY class. Where were the routers? The back-ups? Yoke? As he found them, he glanced outside. It was just like the day he left his last job. Tanaka, Renshaw, Gravers. They all promised him great things, yet here he sat on one of the smallest ships he’d piloted in a long time. And he liked it. |
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2 MONTHS AGO Captain Renshaw had called again. Wash could hear the communicator blinking. He rolled out of bed and walked across his small apartment. The floor was cold on his feet, colder than normal this time of year. It was even colder on his legs, mainly because of the boxers he wore to bed instead of something warmer. But he liked his boxers. They cost a little more than he should have paid, but then again, not everyone had underwear with Muppets printed on them. Besides, they made him happy. It was a while since he’d been this happy. Spending all that time in a POW camp makes you take stock in your life. You’ll never really know when your number could be up and he wasn't going to take that for granted. His goal now was to make life last and be happy doing it. He reached for the communicator and replayed Renshaws message. “Wash! Old buddy. Renshaw again. Look, pardner. I been holding this spot on my crew for a long time. Sure would appreciate it if you’d at least come by and give me the time ‘o day. C’mon. Waddya say? I got you on full benefits and even paid leave. You won’t get that on some Alliance ship. Even your own room. Lemme know soon, will ya, ‘cause I gotta be leavin’ Paldrone in 3 days. If’n I don’t hear from you by then, I’m gonna have to pick someone else up.”. Wash smirked. “Sorry, Renny.”, he said to the machine. “But I’m not shaving my moustache for you or anybody.”. He walked over to the kitchen and started making some toast when the communicator fired back up. It was Tanaka. He could see him on the vid-screen. His trademark white jacket and shirt. Hopefully, Tanaka couldn’t see below Wash’s waist. He’d feel better if Tanaka could only see the Blue Sun t-shirt he’d won at the Flying Coaster 2 nights ago. “Hello, Hoban. Are we still on for today?”, Tanaka asked. “Yes. Yes, sir. I’ll see you at 10.”. “Very good. Very good. See you then, Hoban.”. He hated it when Tanaka called him that, but he was trying to let it go. After all, this would be a good job. It was a nice ship. Nice crew, even if Tanaka WAS a little conceited most of the time. Not to mention the way Wash absolutely hated the way Tanaka repeated every phrase. Like a person was too dumb to understand what he said the first time. After breakfast, he packed up his clothes, some breakfast bars and a few…..accessories. Namely, his dinosaur collection. They were the one thing that kept him sane sometimes. He’d found them after being released from the POW camp. The prisoners were just set free. Not dropped off, not released to a governing side. They just opened the gates and let the prisoners go. At least, the ones that could walk.. The first thing he saw as they wondered out of the hills was a ruined town. A town bombed into the ground. And then some. As he and the other prisoners walked through the desolate town, he’d noticed a playground near some burned down houses. A swing hung by one rope, gently going back and forth in the breeze. A slide lay fallen in a sand box next to it. He walked over to it and saw a pair of ripped clothes half buried in the sand. They’d been covered even more by some of the ash that still hung in the air. A childs jacket and pants. Torn. Bloody. They’d been here a while and whatever, or whoever, was in it had been gone a while now. He put them back down when something green caught his eye, just under the clothes as he started to get up. He knelt back down and gently moved them over. As he reached into the sand he felt something bumpy, like scales and pulled out a green Tyrannosaurus Rex. Under that, 3 more dinosaurs. His eyes started to well up with tears as he realized there was a child here. No soldier. No warrior. Just a child trying to play in a grown ups world. He put the toys in what was left of his shirt and started walking again. When he got back to his life, he promised himself, no more war. Whatever he could do. He was out. His cards were on the table and he folded. Tanaka greeted him at the ships ramp. He stood there in the middle of a bright white light coming from inside the ship. “Hoban! Hoban!”, he yelled., his arms outstretched. “Tanaka!”, Wash yelled back. “Why are we yelling!?”. “Because I’m happy to see you. Very happy. You’ve made a wise choice, my boy. Wise choice.” “Well thank you, sir. Thank you…..sir. Where, uh, where can I put my things, my things?” Wash said. In a way, mocking Tanaka’s repeating everything, in another way, nervous about giving into his inner urges and killing Tanaka if he had to hear everything, everything, everything over and over for the next few months. “Oh, don’t worry about that. Look. Look. We’ve got to take off soon. Just got a job that’s gonna pay a fortune, a FOR-TUNE. Problem is, we hav’ta take off real soon. You think you’re ready?”. “Absolutely. How about I meet you on the bridge?”. “Sounds good, sounds good.” Tanaka said as he left for the front of the ship. “Good, good.”, Wash repeated. Wash walked onto the bridge of Tanaka’s ship, THE ECHO. It was bright. And very white. It seemed he’d walked into a hospital instead of a cockpit. Five other people sat in a semi-circle around his empty chair. “Looks like I’ll be the center of attention.”, he mumbled to himself. As he walked over to his chair, he noticed all five of the other people, Tanaka included, were staring at him. And not just any stare. The type of stare you’d get if you’d just walked into church wearing nothing but a smile and bunny slippers. He sat down and started running through his pre-flight check when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Suddenly he felt someone’s hot and onion filled breath in his ear. It was Tanaka. “Son. I assumed we had a deal. Now I know I kinda rushed you up here, but, I can’t let ya sit here like that.”. Wash was confused. “Like what?”, he asked It was then that Wash started to notice something. All that white? It was even on the crew. White shirts, white hats. Even the shoes were white. That’s when he looked down and noticed he was still wearing his favorite Hawaiian shirt. All in it’s glorious red, blue and green splendor. He noticed one other thing too. Nobody had facial hair. Just him. “Look, Tanaka. I….” “It’s alright.”, Tanaka said softly. “Just go down to your room and clean up. I’ll get things going from here.”. “Clean up?” “Ya, you know.”, he said. He then stroked his top lip and said, “Clean up.”. Wash smiled. Not his moustache. He’d sooner shave Tanaka’s portrait in his back hair then shave his moustache. It symbolized his freedom. His manly hood. What there was of it. “Sir, I don’t think that’s going to happen.”. “Well it better happen if you want to be part of my crew.”. “Ya, about that. I’ve taken a long time to grow this. I’ve never really been able to grow one until now and if I shave it off, I’m afraid it may never grow back, so I think I’m going to keep the facial hair. And this shirt? It’s my lucky shirt. It was given to me by a gypsy on Faylor who also said I’d meet a beautiful dark-skinned warrior woman in the belly of a fly. I’m not sure about that last part, but I know it had the woman in it, so I’m just…” “Well you and your ‘lucky shirt’ are about to booted off my nice new ship if you don’t be careful.”, Tanaka said. He started to stand now. Wash could feel him getting irritated. “See, I signed a contract with you. Now that I’m here, with my own room and such, I like it and think I want to stay. I’d hate to let the word out that you break contracts, what with this new cargo getting ready to be shipped and all.”. Tanaka stood to his full 5 foot 4 and breathed deeply. Wash knew he had him. Tanka then turned and left quickly, repeating something Wash had only heard the day he and his fellow crew knew they were going to be captured back during the war. And even then, not with that much force in using ALL of the curse words. |
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1 DAY AGO Malcolm Reynolds pounded down his last shot of whiskey. He was careful not to spend anymore credits because he was down to his last few. His ship hadn’t left in weeks and what crew he had were getting restless to leave. Problem was you needed a pilot to take off and Mal had yet to find one that could fly his ship. Or, more to the point, trusted his ship to fly. “MALCOLM! MALCOLM! “ Mal turned around to see Captain Tanaka enter the bar. He wasn’t really friends with Tanaka, more of an acquaintance. This meant he probably wanted something. Mal slowly turned toward him, keeping his back to the bar. “Tanaka. What brings you here to this fine establishment? Alliance finally see what that last cargo was?”. “That’s funny, Mal. Real funny. Humor like that, you’d think make a man a lot of friends. Friends that could get jobs. Paying jobs. What are YOU doing here? Or did I just answer my own question?”. Mal turned back to his empty glass and tried to ignore Tanaka. “Look, Malcolm. We got off on wrong foot. I’m here to do you a favor believe it or not.” Hiding his interest, Mal turned to face him again. “Really?”. “Yes, really. Really. I heard rumors round the ways you’re still looking for a pilot. That true?” “Yep.” “Then have I got something for you. A pilot. One of the best. Can’t say enough about him. He could fly a transport ship up a woman’s skirt without so much as leavin’ a breeze. Flew during the war. Piloted some of the best ships I’ve ever seen and never got a scratch on ‘em.“. “Really? Seems like a good fit for you. Why you talkin’ to me about it?”. “Well, it just so happens that I got no need for him. I’m trying to…fill the job with someone who fits more into my….crew. Ya see. He’s got this……” “What? Disease? Third arm? Don’t tell me he brings his mother-in-law with him.”. “No, no. Nothing like that. He’s got this gorammit…..moustache. He just won’t shave the thing. And you know me, Mal. Moustaches, beards, long hair. Those things bring germs. Lots of germs. Now I have a clean ship and what I don’t need is a bunch of microscopic organisms hitchin’ a ride on my ship and getting’ onto my body.” “So he’s got a …….moustache?”. Tanaka looked down at his feet. Almost embarrassed of the idea that he’d let Wash go on this long with it. And what’s more, letting Reynolds know about it. “Well that IS a horrible thing to have.”, Mal said. “Suppose I could give him a shot though.”. “Im tellin’ you, Malclom. You won’t be sorry. Won’t be sorry.”. “Tell him to come by tomorrow and I’ll take a talking to him.” “Great. Malcolm. Great.” TODAY “He’s great, ain’t he?”, Mal asked Zoe as they left Wash on the bridge to fiddle with the ships controls. “I don’t like him.”, she said. Mal was floored. “What? “. ”Something about him bothers me. “, she said, walking away fro the bridge. ”What? What about him bothers you? “, Mal asked, walking with her. ”Not sure. Just... something.”. ”Well, your "somethin'" comes up against a list of recommendations long as my leg. Tanaka raved about the guy. Renshaw's been trying to get him on his crew for a month. And we need us a pilot.” ”I understand, sir.”, Zoe responded. She looked back again at the bridge. “He bothers me.”. As they walked off, Mal still tried to reason with Zoe. “You have to be more specific than that.”. “I don’t know, sir. Maybe it’s that moustache. Never did like a moustache on a man.”. “Well, “, said Mal. Maybe you can get him to shave it off.”. |
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